Tấm sự của vợ, nước mắt đắng cay khi đêm nào ôm tôi, chồng cũng gọi tên… tình cũ

22/10/2017 Kiến Thức Cuộc Sống 24 Bình luận

Nằm trong vòng tay chồng, nước mắt tôi cứ trào ra, tủi hờn, giận dỗi. Tôi biết tình cảm của chồng, tôi biết anh không phải người đàn ông xấu xa, thế nhưng bao năm nay, đêm nào anh cũng gọi tên tình cũ khiến tôi tổn thương và mệt mỏi.

Cho đến giờ, tôi không hối hận vì đã lấy anh. Anh là người đàn ông tốt, người chồng chỉn chu, người bố mẫu mực. Gần 10 năm là vợ chồng, anh luôn trân trọng tôi, giúp đỡ tôi trong mọi việc. Chúng tôi cũng có với nhau hai đứa con xinh xắn.

Tổ ấm gia đình được coi là viên mãn, nếu như… không có nỗi khổ tâm mà đêm nào tôi cũng phải trải qua. Tôi không biết mình còn có thể chịu đựng bao lâu nữa.

 nuoc mat dang cay khi dem nao om toi, chong cung goi ten… tinh cu - 1

Tôi biết tình cảm của chồng, tôi biết anh không phải người đàn ông xấu xa, thế nhưng bao năm nay, đêm nào anh cũng gọi tên tình cũ khiến tôi tổn thương và mệt mỏi. (Ảnh minh họa)

Chúng tôi không phải là người yêu đầu của nhau. Nói đúng hơn, trước tôi, anh đã yêu một cô gái khác, sâu đậm lắm. Còn với tôi, anh thực sự là người đàn ông đầu tiên. 

Ngày đó, anh yêu cô gái kia hơn 5 năm. Tình yêu giữa họ đẹp đẽ và ngọt ngào. Nhưng rồi cô ấy không may gặp tai nạn và qua đời. Hơn 3 năm sau anh cũng không chịu yêu ai.

Thế rồi bố mẹ anh mai mối anh và tôi. Những ngày đầu gặp gỡ, anh chẳng thiết tha gì, lúc nào trong lòng anh cũng đau đáu về người cũ.

Nhưng chính điều đó lại khiến cô gái như tôi mê mẩn. Bởi vì tôi cứ thích người đàn ông nặng tình, chung thủy. Tôi quyết có được anh cho riêng mình.

Chuyện tình cảm chưa có nhiều tiến triển thì trong một lần anh say rượu, chúng tôi đã đi nhà nghỉ với nhau. Sau đó tôi có bầu.

Vậy là đám cưới được gấp rút chuẩn bị trong sự vui mừng của hai bên gia đình, trong niềm hân hoan của tôi. Còn với anh, nó là sự miễn cưỡng.

 nuoc mat dang cay khi dem nao om toi, chong cung goi ten… tinh cu - 2

Chuyện tình cảm chưa có nhiều tiến triển thì trong một lần anh say rượu, chúng tôi đã đi nhà nghỉ với nhau. Sau đó tôi có bầu. (Ảnh minh họa)

Nhưng sau khi kết hôn, anh đã sống đúng trách nhiệm một người chồng. Những tháng ngày tôi mang bầu, mệt mỏi, khổ sở, anh luôn chăm sóc tận tình.

Có lẽ vì thế mà tình cảm vợ chồng được vun vén nhiều hơn. Anh cũng dần yêu thương tôi hơn. Tôi coi đó là một niềm hạnh phúc sau những gì mình nỗ lực.

Tình yêu của chúng tôi đến sau khi cưới nhưng tuyệt nhiên chưa bao giờ anh nói một lời yêu với tôi. Anh tốt và thương vợ, vậy thôi. Nhưng tôi sẽ không cảm thấy đau khổ thế này nếu như không phải đêm nào anh ôm tôi mà cũng gọi tên người tình cũ.

Tôi biết chuyện cũ là một ám ảnh với anh, là một kí ức anh khó lòng quên được. Nhưng thử hỏi người đàn bà, nằm bên chồng, đêm nào cũng phải nghe chồng gọi tên người yêu cũ, thì lòng có thể không đau? Việc đó đêm nào cũng diễn ra khiến tôi không thể thấy bình thường được nữa.

 nuoc mat dang cay khi dem nao om toi, chong cung goi ten… tinh cu - 3

Không lẽ, cả đời, đêm nào ôm chồng tôi cũng phải nghe anh gọi tên tình cũ? (Ảnh minh họa)

Thời gian đầu tôi tự nhủ rồi sau này sẽ khác đi. Anh sẽ quên cô ấy và yêu tôi, khi đó việc gọi tên tình cũ trong giấc mơ sẽ không còn nữa. Nhưng rồi bao năm trôi qua, mọi thứ vẫn diễn ra như vậy.

Vì quá yêu chồng nên tôi càng đau khổ. Tôi bị đấu tranh giằng xé dữ dội giữa việc chấp nhận con người anh ban ngày: tử tế, hiền lành, thương vợ hay hằn học với một gã đàn ông si tình với người cũ mỗi đêm.

Tôi sống vật vờ, nỗi buồn vảng vất. Tôi không biết phải làm sao để chấp nhận với thực tế này. Dù tôi có nói ra thì chắc chắn anh cũng không thể thay đổi được vì nó là phản xạ đến một cách vô thức.

Không lẽ, cả đời, đêm nào ôm chồng tôi cũng phải nghe anh gọi tên tình cũ?

Theo Thùy Dương (Khám phá)

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